


Stardust

by SumDumMuffin



Series: Absolute Hoodwitch Armageddon [8]
Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Music, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21749596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/SumDumMuffin
Summary: Ruby's in a band. One day she meets an old music hipster.
Relationships: Glynda Goodwitch/Ruby Rose
Series: Absolute Hoodwitch Armageddon [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616476
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Stardust

**Author's Note:**

> I guarantee no expertise in music, music shows, unicorns, music or romance.

It was always a somber day, whenever Ruby would visit her mother's grave. She liked to think that this was the universe joining her in mourning, but most likely it was just the fact that graveyard was located in a climate with an 80% chance of cloud cover any given day during this season. 

And the lake and the overgrown woods at the edge of the radial stone garden, where the occasional fog creeped out of, probably contributed to the probability of somber days every time Ruby visited. 

Roses were the obvious grave gift, because of their family name, and their family cultivated a small garden of them, so Ruby placed a small bouquet of roses at the base of a elaborate tombstone. 

And she told her mother about how her last year had gone, and she divulged her hopes and her fears and her random, idle musings. 

And at the last, Ruby sang a song of mourning, for her mother, and for herself. 

Across the cemetery, out of the forest, a unicorn appeared. 

The magical creature had the head of a horse with the signature spiral point extruding from her forehead, with the graceful legs of a gazelle with cloven feet a tail like that of a lion. She had eyes the color of emeralds. Her coat was a glimmering cream and her mane was the color of healthy wheat straw, braided down the right side of her head. 

Ruby suddenly felt underdressed, in her regular school uniform. (And she had even considered dressing up, to see her mom, but she had decided that her mom wouldn't care about how she was dressed, even if she were alive.)

In one single bound that covered more ground than it appeared to, the unicorn appeared close enough to converse. She bowed, a graceful tilt of her pointy head with The unicorn bowed. 

"Hello, fair maiden," Said the Unicorn, "You have a lovely voice." 

Ruby bit her lip and stepped back and covered her bits. "I- um! It- maybe it didn't count? Cuz- because it was dark, and, I'm not sure I even did it right-" 

The Unicorn tilted her head. "What are you talking about?"

"My- my mom always told me, that Unicorns only hang out with virgins-" 

The Unicorn managed to blush. It was sparkly. "Wha-" 

"- And yeah, last year at band camp, me and this one girl from Seattle-" Ruby stammered, "And my hymen broke when I was doing gymnastics in middle school, so it wasn't from _sex_ -"

"Stop. Talking," said the unicorn. She closed her eyes. "You're fine. Whatever it is you're worried about, its _fine_. "

"O-oh," Ruby said. She smushed her lips and looked at her feet. 

"This was supposed to be a magical moment," the unicorn said. Her equine face was furrowed in annoyance. "And you _ruined_ it." 

"I'm sorry!" Ruby squeaked out, reflexively. 

The unicorn tilted her head to the side. "You are forgiven. This time." 

"T-thank you...?" Ruby managed to say. 

"And besides," Said the unicorn. She titled her had up and closed her yes and lifted her right hoof. "I personally don't care whether a girl is a virgin or not as long as she's cute. I know that other unicorns seem to prescribe undue importance to virginity because it's, like, 'innocence' or something, but I find that even the nebulous concept of innocence is only valuable, in that it suggests the girl in question is cute." 

"Ah-" Ruby, didn't know how to respond to that, or what that implied-

\- Anyway," the unicorn said. She shook her head. "I did mean that you have a beautiful voice. It's rare that mortals have cultivated such a skill."

"Oh, is it?" Ruby said. She nodded her head. "I guess there's a lot more music available now, so odds are you can find someone else who's making the music you want to hear. Plus, everyone's phone is now a music player too." 

"That's part of it," the unicorn said. "It used to be, if you wanted to hear a song, you needed to have it played for you, which meant either a bard, or you had to sing it yourself." 

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense." Ruby tilted her head back and to the side and she looked at the horizon. "I always liked how all the dwarves in _The Hobbit_ were able to, just, on demand break into perfectly coordinated old chanting refrains." 

"Dwarf halls also have excellent acoustics," the unicorn said. "And they build them way too big, even for their, so they like to sing songs that echo through them to make them feel less empty." 

"Did that mean it was more socially acceptable to burst into song, way back then?" Ruby said. 

"It was," the Unicorn nodded, "Like, every time you see a human walking down the street with their earbuds inside their ear holes? It used to be, that'd be someone signing aloud." 

"Well, not, every time though, right?" Ruby said, "since they'd overlap, and then all but one of them would, move away?" 

"This is true; there are certainly are more humans around, nowadays," the Unicorn dead. "But on the bright side, that means being tone-deaf isn't so terrible a condition."

"That makes sense," Ruby said. She coughed. "Like, if you're tone deaf but like music, there's a good chance it'd never come up. You might not ever even realize it." 

"Exactly."

Ruby nodded. "So are unicorns, musical creatures?" 

"Perhaps more so than others," said the unicorn, "But I personally consider myself a connoisseur of music." 

"Do you only appear to musicians?" Ruby asked. 

The Unicorn lifted her right leg and closed her eyes and raised her head up. "I appear to any who might interest me. Which today, is you." 

"Um," Ruby said. She rubbed the back of her head again. "That's, very flattering. I'm actually in a band, which is probably why you, liked my singing...." 

"An actual band?" said the Unicorn. 

"As opposed to what?" Ruby asked. "A rubber band?" 

The unicorn snorted in one brief spurt of laughter. "Maybe. But I was going to ask if it was a karaoke band, or perhaps one of those video games where the controllers are shaped like instruments but require none of the skill." 

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "You've heard of those?" 

"I make it a point to keep abreast of the changing times," the Unicorn said, "if only to condescend to them." 

"Heh," Ruby snorted. "Well, I actually am just backup vocals, but I'm lead guitar." 

"That is actually very auspicious," said the Unicorn. "I actually own an acoustic guitar. Not a Gibson or anything, but still of impeccable quality."

"Huh," Ruby said, "I've, actually only had electric ones." 

The unicorn snorted in a horse-sounding noise. "That is a travesty. One that I can correct right now."

The unicorn sidled up to Ruby. 

"Ah-" Ruby managed to say. "You mean, like, go to your magical domicile?" 

"Exactly." 

Ruby scrunched her mouth to the side. Like, if this had been a random human, an offer to go to a stranger's house to play music was a decision that probably wasn't the best for your health. 

But, apparently Unicorns were real, so, screw it. 

"Okay," Ruby said.

"Ah," Ruby said, after she slowly slid down the side of the mythical quadruped, the second time. "Is there, a better way to do this..."

"Grab the part of the mane right above the withers, jump up along the side, and use the momentum to climb on the back. 

"What are," Ruby said, "'Withers?'" 

The unicorn rolled her eyes. "The ridge between the shoulder blades. It's also a good thing to hold onto during the ride, if you feel unsteady. 

"Ah- am I allowed to, grab your hair?" Ruby said. She looked at the intricate braid of flaxen hair. 

The horse sighed, theatrically, and because she had bigger lungs, it took a lot longer to complete than it would for a human. "Here-" 

She kneeled down, onto the grass of the graveyard. 

"Oh! This is a lot easier," Ruby said. She straddled the unicorn's back, and the unicorn stood up and started walking. Ruby clutched her withers. 

"You may be wondering why I have a guitar when I don't have fingers," the unicorn said, to break the silence on the way to her home.

Ruby chuckled, "Honestly it's not the first thing I'd wonder about. Like, where would you even get a guitar in the first place?"

"Music store." 

Ruby blinked. "Really?" 

"Yes," The Unicorn said. "Though I have other items that I've acquired in exchange for personal favors or won in games of intellectual skill." 

"But not the guitar," Ruby said. 

"No, I wanted a receipt, so I could return it if it wasn't good." 

Ruby scrunched her mouth to the side. "I guess that makes as much sense as anything else you've said." Ruby nodded. "So you go into town, occasionally?" 

"I try to keep abreast of current popular music trends," the unicorn said, "Also, other trends, but mostly music. To look down on it." 

"Yeah?" 

I know that many youths today prefer to listen to," the unicorn pontificated with her head, swirling her horn around in small circles in the air, "Say, Minecraft themed amateur parody fan covers of Lady Gaga songs." 

"Wha~~~at?" Ruby said. She smushed her mouth together and avoided saying anything. 

The unicorn bowed her head solemnly. "I remember the first time a young maiden told me she preferred the Minecraft version of a pop song," she intoned in solemn contempt, "That day, I knew in my heart that the age of Man was in decline." 

"Ah. Well, I haven't heard any of _that,_ " Ruby lied. She rubbed the back of her head. "But meme music in general, I think, is fun because it's catchy and it has, imagery about things that are familiar to humans. And if it's ground down into small memetic chunks, they might prefer that to songs with, more independent lyrics?" 

Ruby furrowed her brow. "And haven't people been saying that humanity is in its worst age since, like, the Mahabharata?" Professor Port would probably be really smug if he ever found out that reading ancient literature would apply to Ruby's life. 

"I suppose so," the Unicorn said, "But surely the average music is worse, in this age?" 

"I kind of want to disagree with you," Ruby said. "I think there's always been, like, sonic texturalists or people who play lyrics backwards, and the only difference is now its much easier to find them..." 

They argued a bit more. 

The unicorn took her to a glade in the forest. The trees were taller than Ruby figured trees ever grew, and small blue fireflies danced around the edges of her vision. (In retrospect, it was obvious that the area didn't fully exist in the regular world.) 

The Unicorn kneeled down so that Ruby could dismount. Her leg muscles felt only a little sore. 

"Feel free to try the guitar," said the Unicorn, "Allow me to procure snacks, and I'd like to show you some of the music _I_ like." 

So while the Unicorn went off through a door in one particularly large tree, Ruby picked up a surprisingly recent-feeling guitar that was laying on a stump in the yard.

The unicorn returned, magically levitating a tray of -

"Cookies!" Ruby said. She gently placed the guitar down and jumped up to run right up to the unicorn, before standing expectantly on her tip toes with her hands clasped behind her. 

The unicorn smiled and granted Ruby a cookie. 

"So, do you have an oven in there?" Ruby asked, while eating her cookie. 

"I do not," the unicorn said. "The cookie gnomes gifted these to me last week, and I thought I'd hold onto them to share." 

"Sounds, like you regularly bring girls to your glade?" 

The unicorn smirked, or at least, appeared to do so.

"Only those who might interest me." the unicorn blinked, opening her eyes to half-lids. She smiled at Ruby. 

Ruby coughed. "How, lucky of me. Ah-" Ruby pointed to the, ancient medallion thing the Unicorn was levitating besides her, to change the subject. "So what's that thing?"

The unicorn turned her head to the artifact. "This is called a 'record'."

Ruby blinked. 

"I am old," stated the unicorn.

"Ah," Ruby said. "So this is, a 'record', of music?" 

"Yes. In times of yore it was used to store music for later enjoyment. And _this_ one, stores the _best_ music," The unicorn said. 

"Exciting."

"I can actually use my horn to play it, but it's a lot more convenient to just use the player." She nudged the 'record' onto a mechanical device, and there was a short scritch of static and then a song began to play-

Ruby's expression flattened. "This is David Bowie (RIP)." 

"It is! (RIP)" The Unicorn said. She nodded, solemnly. " _Life on Mars,_ the original version." 

"Yeah, 1971," Ruby said. She smushed her lips together. "I excepted your favorite song to be, like, some kind of fantastical, elf song or something." 

The Unicorn chuckled. "That's silly. Elves aren't real." 

Ruby didn't know what to say to that. 

"Besides, David Bowie was the Goblin King, don't you know?" the unicorn said. Her eyes twinkled. 

Ruby let out an exasperated chuckle. "So you have access to movies?" 

"Sometimes," said the unicorn, "If it's to see David Bowie." 

"So," Ruby grimaced, "That means, not anymore, huh?" 

The unicorn paused for a moment. "Well, perhaps there will be other pressing reasons, someday." 

"So what did you think?" the unicorn said, after the song ended. 

"I, guess it was pretty good," Ruby said. 

The unicorn scrunched her mouth. "Only 'pretty good'?" 

"Well, I'm sure subsequent listens will make me, more aware of the nuances of the song and the style and the singer." 

"Certainly," the unicorn said. She tilted her head down and levitated the 'record' in such a way to repeat the song. 

"Um-" Ruby said. She realized what she had seemed to agree to.

"So," said the unicorn, "What kind of music do _you_ like?" 

Ruby pretended she hadn't been waiting the whole afternoon to be asked that. She pulled the unicorn's acoustic guitar up in her lap and started strumming, "I like a smattering of bands, but a lot of them have similar sounds." 

"Ah," said the Unicorn. "you are left handed...."

It was Ruby's turn to smile, knowingly, as she had the upper hand in the conversation. "I am." 

The unicorn frowned, in embarrassment. "I, am afraid I don't have a left handed guitar, but maybe I can weave a spell to mirror the components of the guitar..." 

"Oh, nah," Ruby said, "I just play a right handed guitar left-handed. I guess it means I had to know more of the theory behind playing? Like, I couldn't just copy the hands of most people who play."

She played the opening rift to a Mumford and Sons song. "I admit I was super emo at one point in my life, and my taste in music was all, like, sad songs about the world ending. I grew out of that, in High School, but I still liked the aesthetic- like, mournful music in minor keys with a good instrumental line..." 

The unicorn kneeled down, front first, and sat as Ruby gave a brief history of her personal taste in music as well as a few performances of some of her favorite songs.

"Fascinating," the unicorn said, and it seemed like she meant it.

"Honestly, my favorite band is 21 Pilots," Ruby said, "But a lot of their songs are, like, tongue-twister rap lyrics, so I prefer listening to them more than playing them."

The unicorn nodded. "Sure. But from the few songs of them I've heard, I think you could do a decent nob."

Ruby scrunched her mouth to the side. "Well, if you've heard them on the radio, you haven't heard their best ones."

The unicorn chuckled. " _Now_ who's condescending about music she doesn't like?"

Ruby scrunched her mouth to the other side. "I mean, I'm not saying that, like, _Stressed Out_ is bad, per se. Just, I think some of their older stuff is more catchy and has more poetic lyrics."

"Their _older_ stuff, huh?" the unicorn smiled widely.

"I never said older stuff was bad, like, on principle." Ruby pouted. 

"Didn't you?"

"You know what I meant," Ruby said. 

"Anyway," Ruby said. She stood up. "Thanks for, showing me your guitar, and your glade, and the cookies." 

Ruby smiled a genuine smile, "And, I guess, showing me that unicorns are real."

The unicorn chuckled. "And thank you, for the company, fair maiden. I am called Glynda."

"I'm Ruby," said Ruby. She held out her hand, before she realized that a unicorn probably wouldn't shake, like, her hoof.

Glynda chuckled. She bowed. "A pleasure. Now, how about I give you my email address?" 

Ruby blinked. "You have an email address."

"Of course. How else am I supposed to keep in abreast of the changing times?" Glynda narrowed her eyes, "Or perhaps, the humans these days primarily communicate via shared minecraft servers?"

"N- no," Ruby said, "I mean, personally, texting would be better, but I can do email fine." 

Glynda sighed, theatrically. "Maidens these days." 

* * *

  
So Ruby and Glynda the magical Unicorn struck up a friendship. She would visit the glade to listen to and occasionally play music, and eventually, it'd be to just hang out. 

"So I notice that a lot of the songs you like are about space," Ruby said, one night. She had managed to jump onto Glynda's back for a ride, by now, and they were walking (or more accurately, Glynda was walking, while Ruby just had to sit upright.) along parts of the glade that had a view of the sky. 

"This is true," Glynda said. She looked up at the stars. "Before there were motion pictures, all sentient creatures of this world looked up at space, in awe." 

"And then glam rockers made songs about it." 

"Yes," Glynda said. 

For a few moments, Ruby joined her fellow sentient creatures of the world, to look up at space in awe. 

"Space unicorn~ Soaring through the stars~" Ruby sang out, randomly into the night "Delivering the rainbows all around the world~" 

Glynda's expression flattened.

Ruby leaned back and tilted her head up, to belt out more of the meme song. "Space unicorn~ Shining in the- Ack!" 

Glynda bucked Ruby onto the grass.

"That's fair," Ruby grunted, as she picked herself up. 

* * *

Ruby's band was playing at a local music festival. It was outdoors, it was relatively low key. A lot of garage bands, but a few regional musicians's who've had moderate success, a few bands composed of people who'e eventually moved on to do other things but still found the time to come by to a little array of tents and folding tables in a field outside of town, once a year. 

In the band Ruby was in, Weiss was lead vocals, because she could project her voice really well, and she had years of opera singing lessons. 

Blake was on bass, and occasionally did growling if the song called for it. And Yang was drums. she had a special prosthetic that let her work one of the cymbal stands, but otherwise she specialized in wildly failing her left arm around. And it turned out that skill was useful when she played drums, ba-dum psh. 

  
They didn't have all that many original songs, but Ruby had convinced the rest of the band to learn an older glam rocker, to fill out the set. 

And after they got off stage and Weiss was backhandedly praising all of their performances and Yang had disappeared off with some groupies, as usual.

A woman Ruby had never seen before but was vaguely familiar approached them. She was in a business suit and glasses, and she had blond hair in a braid down the right side of her face, and eyes the color of emeralds- wait-

"Glynda?" Ruby said. She blinked. 

The woman smiled and "It is indeed I. I do keep up with current trends, you know." 

"Oh my gosh!" Ruby said. She jumped up on her feet, slightly, "Why didn't you tell me you could- erm, you would be here?" 

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Glynda soothed. "So; surprise." 

"Do you know this lady?" Weiss asked. 

Ruby scrunched her mouth to the side. "Yeeahh. She showed me what records were."

Blake appeared besides them. "What are records?" 

Ruby waved her arms in the air. "They're these ancient mystical artifacts that were used to record music, in the before times." 

"Woah," Blake said. 

"But no, she's not in the music industry," Ruby told Weiss. 

Weiss at least had the courtesy to pretend she didn't immediately lose interest in the woman. But she did, soonafter, go off with Blake to get some food.

"So, uh," Ruby said. She glanced at the ground and bit her lip before resuming eye contact with the now-human-looking woman. it made sense that she was rather taller than her, since Ruby had to look up at the same angle when Glynda was a vaguely-horselike quadrupedal mythological creature. "Do you, want to sit somewhere?" 

"Sure," Glynda said. "I will practice sitting, when you only have two legs." 

"It's- well, I don't really have anything to compare it to," Ruby said. "But, sure, go for it."

They found a small cafe table on the outskirts of the festival clearing. 

"Do you need glasses, in your human form?" Ruby asked. 

"They're part of the disguise!" Glynda said. She adjusted them with a brush of her hand that was simultaneously distinguished and adorable. "I am told that all the best disguises involve glasses." 

"I guess, that's not wrong...." Ruby said, "In that, the most famous disguises involve glasses. Though, considering that famous disguises will mean you know they're just disguises, it might be hard to get an objective evaluation on how well the disguises wold work on someone who didn't already know they were a disguise." 

"I see," Glynda said. She adjusted her glasses. 

"Though, I'd think that complete shapeshifting would be such a better disguise that you wouldn't, like," Ruby pontificated, "Need, glasses...." 

"I suppose," Glynda said. She adjusted her glasses again. Ruby felt some heat rise in her chest.

"So, uh," Ruby turned away and coughed, "How did you like the show? "

"it was what I'd expect from a human performance," Glynda said. 

Ruby's expression flattened. "So, bad, but you still enjoyed it because it allows you to condescend to us?" 

Glynda chuckled. "Well, that. Buuut, there was one band that I thought was... fascinating."

Ruby looked up into Glynda's eyes. "Oh?" 

"Yeah," Glynda said, softly. "That 'Juniper' band. I liked their costumes." 

Ruby pouted and shoved Glynda's shoulder, playfully.

Glynda chuckled. "That's fair. 

They found a little table off in the corner of the field, where they could sit next to each other at an angle that meant it was easy to face each other if necessary. 

"More seriously," Glynda said, "I thought you did wonderful. Your band, but also you specifically." 

Ruby smiled, at the ground. She brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Thanks. I'm glad you did." 

"Looks like you got the courage to take over for your lead singer for _Glowing Eyes_." Glynda adjusted her glasses.

"I- yes." Ruby smiled. "Thanks for encouraging me." 

"Of course!" Glynda said. She put her hand on Ruby's and squeezed, once "And I appreciate you throwing in a David Bowie song into your set." 

"Heheh," Ruby said. "I- well, honestly I thought, you might look in from the forest, in your regular form, but I figured I'd just tell you about it afterwards..."

"Well, this is better, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I should thank you for showing me the song," Ruby said. "Over and over, until I liked it." 

Glynda smiled, warmly. "I'm glad you did."

And the unicorn turned human leaned closer, towards Ruby's ear, "I could show you some other things, if you'd like?"

Ruby inhaled sharply and looked up into (that were only slightly obscured by her glasses being lopsided), and she nodded, once. 

Glynda gently cupped Ruby's chin, to tilt her head up. She smooched Ruby, with a slow, exploration kiss, her tongue probing Ruby's lips. 

Ruby sighed into Glynda's mouth. She leaned against the taller woman, clinging to her shoulders, surrendering to the dance of her mouth. 

Ruby was panting when they separated.

Glynda adjusted her glasses and smiled. "Well?"

"I don't know," Ruby said, "I think I might some subsequent replays, to get to know some more of the nuances of it." 

Glynda snaked her arm around Ruby's waist to pull her closer. "Certainly." 

**Author's Note:**

> I could pretend this was loosely inspired by _The Last Unicorn_ to be hipster about liking unicorns as a metaphor for ancient forgotten wisdom and also growing up, _before_ all these college boys popularized them as idols for a new paradigm for masculinity. 
> 
> But honestly this was all inspired by [ a single joke ](https://www.gocomics.com/phoebe-and-her-unicorn/2012/10/11) in _Phoebe and her Unicorn_.


End file.
